So, I suppose I should write about what I've been up to, writing wise.
I usually work on two projects at once: drafting one novel, and editing another.
Unfortunately, uni hasn't been giving me enough time to develop a new concept, and to draft it too (that's going to be a NaNoWriMo thing, since I'll be done with uni forever), but I've been busy doing mass edits on one of my older projects, which some of my older readers from LiveJournal might remember, my NaNo novel from 2010, titled Fool's Gold.
At the moment, I'm in the midst of a complete rewrite of the first 3 chapters, after coming to the conclusion that the first chapter literally did nothing to further the story, other than a bit of worldbuilding and info dumping. Events that have happened in chapter 3 now happen in chapter 1, and it gets complicated after that, with bits and pieces from all those chapters happening in different places.
After that, chapters 15-18 are going to need to be scrapped and rewritten from scratch, because I was young and dumb and wrote awful things that my current feminist self cringes with disgust at.
I'm glad that I've finally decided to work on this novel 4 years after having drafted it. I've grown so much as a writer, Fool's Gold having been my second completed novel. Now in mid 2014, I've already written about six novels, in various stages of completion. I've discovered books that have helped me develop a vibrant voice, that have made me reconsider plot points, character development, and world-building.
I hate it when people call their books their babies, but this novel has been on my mind for almost 5 years, and it's finally so close to being queried to an agent. It's an exhilarating feeling knowing that I've worked so hard on it, and it's been 5 years in the making.
Keep an eye out for future posts on my progress.
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Thursday, 24 July 2014
Thursday, 9 May 2013
Art and Insanity
It's become this thing to associate artists with mental illnesses. Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, David Foster Wallace, Ernest Hemmingway (just to name a few) are all writers who committed suicide. Heck, there's even a wikipedia page on the link between creativity and mental illness.
Mental illness is something I think about often, since I suffer from quite a few different problems: anxiety, depression, and OCD. Who knows what other illnesses I might be harbouring in that brain of mine.
As much as I hate to say it, as a result of this connection between art and insanity, it makes me think of death in a very personal manner. Not in a "I think about killing myself" way (although, when the depression gets really bad, I suppose I can't help but think like that), but it makes me think of how torturous the life of an artist must be, that the mind breaks in such a way.
It's taken me two months to write this post. Sometimes, I delete every single word, because I worry it's too personal, and nobody wants to hear me whining about how sucky my life is. It's so difficult to put my thoughts down, to create something I feel happy with. I haven't written anything in ages. I find myself empty and lost when I try to conjure up some words. I feel like a failure when I can't produce perfection.
I've been skipping school a lot lately. I know I said I'd cut back on skipping classes, but these past few weeks, when I wake up, I just can't get out of bed. I dread facing the day ahead of me. The mere thought of being surrounded by hundreds of people in the city haunts me. So I just hide in my bed and wait for the feeling to pass.
It never does.
My doctor upped my antidepressant dose. It used to be 75mg, but my anxiety had begun to manifest in the form of stomach pains every time I ate, so now my meds are at 150mg. The side effects are annoying. I feel buzzed sometimes, as if my brain isn't really my brain. I space out sometimes. If I take my meds without any food, then I get so nauseous that I feel like I could throw up, but instead of throwing up, I sneeze.
I've been trying so hard to find a therapist, but it's near impossible to find affordable mental health care. And I need someone suited for my needs. My last therapist was great, but she flat out told me that she doesn't know how to deal with anxiety that manifests as OCD. How am I supposed to get better if the government basically doesn't want me to?
My passion for anything has diminished. I don't find absolute joy in writing anymore. I can't even lose myself in a book, and forget about the world around me, and my problems. I don't hang out with my friends because a part of me, the depressed part of me, tells me that I probably won't have any fun, that I'll be too busy worrying about everything to have fun.
I'm slowly punishing my body for having anxiety. I have a form of OCD called dermatillomania, which is essentially a compulsion to pick at the skin. As a result, my arms, shoulders, face and scalp are covered in sores and scabs. I have near-premanent semi-circles under my nails, of blood that's dried from red to brown to black.
I can't wear clothes that show my upper arms or back, because I'm terrified of people seeing the scars and the sores. I'm terrified of what they'll think of me. And it just makes me pick more and more.
On cold days, the scars on my wrists are so purple against my ghost-pale skin. It makes them so much more visible. I used to be so terrified that people would see them. One of my friends freaked out when she saw them. It made me feel like I'd done something bad. But it's so hard to hide them. I can't wear jumpers and long sleeved-shirts forever. I wish someone would just tell me that having these scars isn't such a big deal, and that I'm not weak for wanting to cut.
The nails on my left hand are warped from the way I chew and pick at them. I don't often pick with my right hand, nor do I chew on that hand, so the nails are long and strong. Healthy.
For uni, I had to write about a body part, and I wrote about my skin. I wrote about the hate I have for my dermatillomania, for the anxiety that makes me pick. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to write. This is just as hard.
It's so hard to talk to people about this, simply because for the most part, they don't understand it. I've had so many people tell me to get over it, that I'm just overreacting, that I just need to cheer up, as if it were as simple as that. It just results in me feeling even more broken, because if it's that easy for other people, then why am I struggling so hard? Why can't I just snap my fingers and magically be happy again?
I guess this is why this post exists: so I can get things off my chest before I explode and do something irrational and stupid and possibly dangerous. This is very much a cry for attention and a cry for help. I do in fact want people to reach out to me. I mean, who doesn't?
It's nice to feel wanted and loved every once in a while.
I feel like I am a worthless human being right now. Because writing is the only thing I feel like I'm good at, the only thing I live for. But if I can't write, if I'm too mentally broken to write, where does that leave me?
Mental illness is something I think about often, since I suffer from quite a few different problems: anxiety, depression, and OCD. Who knows what other illnesses I might be harbouring in that brain of mine.
As much as I hate to say it, as a result of this connection between art and insanity, it makes me think of death in a very personal manner. Not in a "I think about killing myself" way (although, when the depression gets really bad, I suppose I can't help but think like that), but it makes me think of how torturous the life of an artist must be, that the mind breaks in such a way.
~
It's taken me two months to write this post. Sometimes, I delete every single word, because I worry it's too personal, and nobody wants to hear me whining about how sucky my life is. It's so difficult to put my thoughts down, to create something I feel happy with. I haven't written anything in ages. I find myself empty and lost when I try to conjure up some words. I feel like a failure when I can't produce perfection.
~
I've been skipping school a lot lately. I know I said I'd cut back on skipping classes, but these past few weeks, when I wake up, I just can't get out of bed. I dread facing the day ahead of me. The mere thought of being surrounded by hundreds of people in the city haunts me. So I just hide in my bed and wait for the feeling to pass.
It never does.
~
I've been trying so hard to find a therapist, but it's near impossible to find affordable mental health care. And I need someone suited for my needs. My last therapist was great, but she flat out told me that she doesn't know how to deal with anxiety that manifests as OCD. How am I supposed to get better if the government basically doesn't want me to?
~
My passion for anything has diminished. I don't find absolute joy in writing anymore. I can't even lose myself in a book, and forget about the world around me, and my problems. I don't hang out with my friends because a part of me, the depressed part of me, tells me that I probably won't have any fun, that I'll be too busy worrying about everything to have fun.
~
I'm slowly punishing my body for having anxiety. I have a form of OCD called dermatillomania, which is essentially a compulsion to pick at the skin. As a result, my arms, shoulders, face and scalp are covered in sores and scabs. I have near-premanent semi-circles under my nails, of blood that's dried from red to brown to black.
I can't wear clothes that show my upper arms or back, because I'm terrified of people seeing the scars and the sores. I'm terrified of what they'll think of me. And it just makes me pick more and more.
On cold days, the scars on my wrists are so purple against my ghost-pale skin. It makes them so much more visible. I used to be so terrified that people would see them. One of my friends freaked out when she saw them. It made me feel like I'd done something bad. But it's so hard to hide them. I can't wear jumpers and long sleeved-shirts forever. I wish someone would just tell me that having these scars isn't such a big deal, and that I'm not weak for wanting to cut.
~
The nails on my left hand are warped from the way I chew and pick at them. I don't often pick with my right hand, nor do I chew on that hand, so the nails are long and strong. Healthy.
~
For uni, I had to write about a body part, and I wrote about my skin. I wrote about the hate I have for my dermatillomania, for the anxiety that makes me pick. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to write. This is just as hard.
~
It's so hard to talk to people about this, simply because for the most part, they don't understand it. I've had so many people tell me to get over it, that I'm just overreacting, that I just need to cheer up, as if it were as simple as that. It just results in me feeling even more broken, because if it's that easy for other people, then why am I struggling so hard? Why can't I just snap my fingers and magically be happy again?
I guess this is why this post exists: so I can get things off my chest before I explode and do something irrational and stupid and possibly dangerous. This is very much a cry for attention and a cry for help. I do in fact want people to reach out to me. I mean, who doesn't?
It's nice to feel wanted and loved every once in a while.
~
I feel like I am a worthless human being right now. Because writing is the only thing I feel like I'm good at, the only thing I live for. But if I can't write, if I'm too mentally broken to write, where does that leave me?
Tuesday, 5 February 2013
On Poetry, or, Jess Fears Taking a Leap of Faith.
In the last month or so, I've found myself increasingly unable to think of any story ideas, and unable to write a single decent line in any of my novels. Instead, I've found my mind wandering towards poetry.
I find this odd, considering I've never really written much poetry before. In fact, I sort of think that I don't really get poetry. I mean, it has something to do with rhythm and words and... stuff, I guess? I don't know.
And the more poetry I've written, the more I've been thinking of trying to incorporate my newfound poetic style into a novel, like some of my favourite writers: Catherynne M. Valente, Markus Zusak, my friend Nafiza ;). But do people really want to read a whole novel of poetic beauty, where words flow like water? I mean, I do. Those are my favourite kinds of novels. I'm worried about the marketability of such work.
Another concern is that I may overdo the poetic prose, and it'll turn out like Taherah Mafi's Shatter Me. Now, I know a lot of people just absolutely love that book, but seriously, most of those metaphors don't even make sense. At times, you can see potential shining through, but it's mostly bogged down by prose that needs to be cut, reworded, and basically edited within an inch of its life.
So yeah, that's my conundrum. I want to write a novel with lush prose, but I'm scared to do it. (also, I don't really have much of an idea, which I suppose is my biggest problem, haha.)
It's a big step, a giant leap, and it's going to take a lot of self-prodding to do so. But something in my soul is yearning to come out, and one day, I'm going to have to comply.
So yeah, that's my conundrum. I want to write a novel with lush prose, but I'm scared to do it. (also, I don't really have much of an idea, which I suppose is my biggest problem, haha.)
It's a big step, a giant leap, and it's going to take a lot of self-prodding to do so. But something in my soul is yearning to come out, and one day, I'm going to have to comply.
 |
| One of my poems. Click to enlarge. |
Friday, 18 January 2013
Editing Deadline
 |
| what edits look like. |
I've come to the conclusion that I need to discipline myself and set a deadline. Since I start classes at the beginning of March, I have one and a half months to achieve my goal of finishing this latest round of edits, and send it out to my crit partners for feedback.
I'll check back occasionally to update my progress. Expect a lot of crying, hair pulling, and rants about how much editing sucks. But I shall persevere.
Wish me luck!
Friday, 30 November 2012
Why I'm a Winner Without Winning
Okay, so, it's the last day of NaNo, and I'm about 9k away from winning, but it doesn't seem like I'll be able to win NaNo this year.
And, to be honest, I'm okay with that.
No, really, I am.
Even though I didn't "win" NaNo in the traditional sense, I still feel like I've accomplished so much. I mean, I wrote 40k in a month. That's about half a novel. That's a big freaking deal.
So, I'll be sitting here, celebrating my ass off, congratulating myself on getting so much done.
If you haven't won NaNo this year, don't beat yourself up over it. You still accomplished something, even if it's just a few words, because those are words you didn't have at the beginning of November.
So, what are my plans for post-NaNo?
Well, on Sunday, I'm going away to Philip Island to laze away on the beach for a week, where I'll read all of the books, and have all of the fun, and drink all of the booze (not an exaggeration). Afterwards, I plan on continuing the unfinished NaNo novel, and editing my dearest FG so that I can send it to CPs in the near future.
So just remember, even if you didn't win officially, you're still a winner. :)
And, to be honest, I'm okay with that.
No, really, I am.
Even though I didn't "win" NaNo in the traditional sense, I still feel like I've accomplished so much. I mean, I wrote 40k in a month. That's about half a novel. That's a big freaking deal.
So, I'll be sitting here, celebrating my ass off, congratulating myself on getting so much done.
If you haven't won NaNo this year, don't beat yourself up over it. You still accomplished something, even if it's just a few words, because those are words you didn't have at the beginning of November.
So, what are my plans for post-NaNo?
Well, on Sunday, I'm going away to Philip Island to laze away on the beach for a week, where I'll read all of the books, and have all of the fun, and drink all of the booze (not an exaggeration). Afterwards, I plan on continuing the unfinished NaNo novel, and editing my dearest FG so that I can send it to CPs in the near future.
So just remember, even if you didn't win officially, you're still a winner. :)
Sunday, 25 November 2012
NaNo Weeks 2 & 3
Oh my gosh, I am so bad at this blogging thing. This is just a quick post to show that I'm still alive, and still writing.
And, apparently, at the whole NaNo-ing thing.
After the first week went swimmingly well, I seemed to have developed a nasty case of procrastinationitis, because I just got basically nothing done, so it's not even worth showing my stats.
I got so far behind, though, thanks to my incredible headstart at the beginning of the month, it wasn't as catastrophic as it was last year (and let's not even go there). I've slowly began to catch up. Right now, I'm at 39k and I need to be at 40k, so it's not too bad. Once I finish this post, I'll get back to writing.
I think my biggest problem is that once I get to about 30k, I hit a wall. This happens just about every time I write.
I don't plan my novels out much, you see. I basically just know the very basic storyline, and I have a brief understanding of how it ends, but I don't know what happens in the middle. And so, I falter.
I should probably start outlining my novels more, but when I outline too much, I get stuck as well--I feel like there's no freedom while I'm writing.
Basically, I'm fucked. I'm screwed if I outline, and I'm screwed if I don't. I'll try to find a nice medium, because, seriously, this is just no way to write.
Anyone else have the same issues as me? Any tips on how to fight it?
And, apparently, at the whole NaNo-ing thing.
After the first week went swimmingly well, I seemed to have developed a nasty case of procrastinationitis, because I just got basically nothing done, so it's not even worth showing my stats.
I got so far behind, though, thanks to my incredible headstart at the beginning of the month, it wasn't as catastrophic as it was last year (and let's not even go there). I've slowly began to catch up. Right now, I'm at 39k and I need to be at 40k, so it's not too bad. Once I finish this post, I'll get back to writing.
 |
| Basically me right now. |
I don't plan my novels out much, you see. I basically just know the very basic storyline, and I have a brief understanding of how it ends, but I don't know what happens in the middle. And so, I falter.
I should probably start outlining my novels more, but when I outline too much, I get stuck as well--I feel like there's no freedom while I'm writing.
Basically, I'm fucked. I'm screwed if I outline, and I'm screwed if I don't. I'll try to find a nice medium, because, seriously, this is just no way to write.
Anyone else have the same issues as me? Any tips on how to fight it?
Sunday, 4 November 2012
NaNoWriMo Week One
Well, the first week (or, half week) of NaNo has come and gone. It was quite an experience, and it sounds cheesy, but it feels like I've learnt something. I always learn something about myself each time I sit down to write, and it's a nice sort of feeling.
I've had a very productive week. I was worried that I'd be barely able to make the daily word goals, but I far surpassed my expectations, and it leaves me brimming with pride. I can't help but gush about how well I'm doing on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook.
Here are the stats:
01/11 Thursday: 5,278
02/11 Friday: 3,062
03/11 Saturday: 4,128
04/11 Sunday: 1,796
Total for this week: 14,264
Total word count: 14,264
Where I should be: 6,666
Words ahead: 7,598
Total word count:
On Thursday, I went to a write-in hosted by one of my uni-friends, and it was a great experience. I got to write, talk about writing, and eat cupcakes, brownies, and pizza. Word-warring in real life was really motivating. It feels far more real than word-warring online.
I'm really loving my story. I love the characters, I love the plot, and I love the worlds (Woooh! Alternate dimensions!). I'm not much of a plotter, so there was a point where I was worried that I would run out of steam and not know what to write next (to be fair, though, I have that feeling with every story I write), but it got sorted out in the end. I pretty much only plan a few chapters ahead, and I have a vague idea of how I know the story will end, so that I can make the journey without feeling forced to do something I end up feeling isn't right for the story. With plotting, I feel like I have no freedom to change the direction of the story as I go. I don't like being limited like that.
One thing that's really bugged me about NaNo so far is finding myself suddenly running out of time to do everything I want. I haven't been reading much because I've been too busy writing, so I've been running low on creative juices. As I said above, I've been learning a lot through writing, and I've learnt to organise my time more efficiently. I have to make time to write, sure, but I also need to fit in reading, excercise, playing with the puppy, socialising, playing Pokemon or The Sims 3, and other shenanigans. It's been tough, but I've managed it.
And because I hadn't been reading much, I'd felt a bit shitty and worn out. I just had no motivation to write, because there just was anything to write. After spending the day sitting out in the sun, reading and relaxing, I managed to fix that, and managed to plod along, writing the minimum daily word goal, which is nice, considering I'd only planned to write about 500 words to bump my word count up to 13k. But now it's at 14k, how wonderful!
So, how are you faring with NaNo? Feeling proud of your wordcount, or feeling shitty? Learnt anything new about yourself through writing? Feel free to comment!
I've had a very productive week. I was worried that I'd be barely able to make the daily word goals, but I far surpassed my expectations, and it leaves me brimming with pride. I can't help but gush about how well I'm doing on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook.
Here are the stats:
01/11 Thursday: 5,278
03/11 Saturday: 4,128
04/11 Sunday: 1,796
Total for this week: 14,264
Total word count: 14,264
Where I should be: 6,666
Words ahead: 7,598
Total word count:
On Thursday, I went to a write-in hosted by one of my uni-friends, and it was a great experience. I got to write, talk about writing, and eat cupcakes, brownies, and pizza. Word-warring in real life was really motivating. It feels far more real than word-warring online.
I'm really loving my story. I love the characters, I love the plot, and I love the worlds (Woooh! Alternate dimensions!). I'm not much of a plotter, so there was a point where I was worried that I would run out of steam and not know what to write next (to be fair, though, I have that feeling with every story I write), but it got sorted out in the end. I pretty much only plan a few chapters ahead, and I have a vague idea of how I know the story will end, so that I can make the journey without feeling forced to do something I end up feeling isn't right for the story. With plotting, I feel like I have no freedom to change the direction of the story as I go. I don't like being limited like that.
One thing that's really bugged me about NaNo so far is finding myself suddenly running out of time to do everything I want. I haven't been reading much because I've been too busy writing, so I've been running low on creative juices. As I said above, I've been learning a lot through writing, and I've learnt to organise my time more efficiently. I have to make time to write, sure, but I also need to fit in reading, excercise, playing with the puppy, socialising, playing Pokemon or The Sims 3, and other shenanigans. It's been tough, but I've managed it.
And because I hadn't been reading much, I'd felt a bit shitty and worn out. I just had no motivation to write, because there just was anything to write. After spending the day sitting out in the sun, reading and relaxing, I managed to fix that, and managed to plod along, writing the minimum daily word goal, which is nice, considering I'd only planned to write about 500 words to bump my word count up to 13k. But now it's at 14k, how wonderful!
So, how are you faring with NaNo? Feeling proud of your wordcount, or feeling shitty? Learnt anything new about yourself through writing? Feel free to comment!
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
On Having Writer Friends
It was only in the last few years that I met people who were just like me: people who were just as obsessed with words as I am. I met three of my best friends over the internet. Angela and Krystle via LiveJournal (thanks to our love for Throne of Glass, or Queen of Glass, as it was called when it was still on FictionPress), and Nafiza through book blogging. One thing we all share in common is our love for reading, and our love for writing. In fact, Krystle and Nafiza are both doing NaNo this year.
Before I started uni, my writer friends were only the people I met on the internet. I had never ever ever come across a person in real life who'd shared the same passion for words. And, to be honest, it felt kind of lonely. It felt like I was the only person in the whole of Australia who liked writing.
Now that I've finished my first year of uni, where I study Creative Writing, I've met so many wonderful, like-minded people. I already have two best friends, and many other people that I would openly call my friends. I know, it's starting to sound really sappy right about now, but just bear with me.
So, a few of us RMIT kids are doing NaNo this year. Last Monday, we gathered at a bar and talked about our ideas, and man, it was awesome. It really got me thinking about my story, and it was really inspiring to sit with a whole bunch of people who share the same love for writing.
On Thursday, which will be the 1st of November, the first day of NaNo, we'll be having a write-in, and I'm super excited. I'm expecting myself to write a lot, since I'm really competitive, and I can't stand the thought of someone writing more than me. And the best part is, that if I'm struggling, they'll be able to cheer me on, and help me out. Ditto with my internet writer friends.
The moral of this post, I guess, is to surround yourself with people who write. Wether it be on the internet, or in real life. People who share your passions are far more likely to understand why you're crying in the middle of the night because you just killed off your favourite character. Non-writer people, on the other hand, will just think you're just a bit crazy.
Before I started uni, my writer friends were only the people I met on the internet. I had never ever ever come across a person in real life who'd shared the same passion for words. And, to be honest, it felt kind of lonely. It felt like I was the only person in the whole of Australia who liked writing.
Now that I've finished my first year of uni, where I study Creative Writing, I've met so many wonderful, like-minded people. I already have two best friends, and many other people that I would openly call my friends. I know, it's starting to sound really sappy right about now, but just bear with me.
So, a few of us RMIT kids are doing NaNo this year. Last Monday, we gathered at a bar and talked about our ideas, and man, it was awesome. It really got me thinking about my story, and it was really inspiring to sit with a whole bunch of people who share the same love for writing.
On Thursday, which will be the 1st of November, the first day of NaNo, we'll be having a write-in, and I'm super excited. I'm expecting myself to write a lot, since I'm really competitive, and I can't stand the thought of someone writing more than me. And the best part is, that if I'm struggling, they'll be able to cheer me on, and help me out. Ditto with my internet writer friends.
The moral of this post, I guess, is to surround yourself with people who write. Wether it be on the internet, or in real life. People who share your passions are far more likely to understand why you're crying in the middle of the night because you just killed off your favourite character. Non-writer people, on the other hand, will just think you're just a bit crazy.
Sunday, 21 October 2012
Totally Unprepared for NaNo
So, literally 2 minutes ago, I finished my last essay for uni. It was a comparative essay concerning the Australian landscapes of two of the set novels, if anyone cares.
This means that I finally have time to relax and read books and play Pokemon Black and Black 2, and, of course, plan for NaNo.
Honestly, I have no idea what I'm going to write for NaNo. Usually by now, I'd have a rough idea of what I want to write, but this year, I have absolutely nothing. But that's okay, I guess. I do have 10 days until it starts. That's plenty of time, right?
Anywho, I'll be updating the blog more frequently now that I'm on holidays, and during November, I'll be updating at least once a week with stats (if you followed my old blog, you'd know how much I love word metrics).
If you want to be my buddy on the NaNo website, my username is ChibiJeshka. I love meeting new people, especially if they love writing as much as I do. :)
This means that I finally have time to relax and read books and play Pokemon Black and Black 2, and, of course, plan for NaNo.
Honestly, I have no idea what I'm going to write for NaNo. Usually by now, I'd have a rough idea of what I want to write, but this year, I have absolutely nothing. But that's okay, I guess. I do have 10 days until it starts. That's plenty of time, right?
Anywho, I'll be updating the blog more frequently now that I'm on holidays, and during November, I'll be updating at least once a week with stats (if you followed my old blog, you'd know how much I love word metrics).
If you want to be my buddy on the NaNo website, my username is ChibiJeshka. I love meeting new people, especially if they love writing as much as I do. :)
Tuesday, 11 September 2012
I Hate Editing
Dearest Readers, I hate editing.I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
It is the bane of my existence, but considering I want to get published, I have to deal with it. Woe is me.
I can handle writing thousands and thousands of words of first draft, but when it comes to editing the drivel, I get lost and it's as if I'm being waterboarded.
The reason I'm feeling so much hate towards editing right now is because I'm in the middle of editing my NaNo'10 novel, a steampunk with leprechauns and thieves and bluestocking girls. And it is tough. It's kicking my ass. But, I must persevere.
I guess what I hate most about editing is that I don't know how to do it. There's no rules on how to do it. Every book or guide or piece of advice on editing is different, and a lot of the time, it's contradictory, so I have no idea what to do and where to start and how to go about perfecting my precious novel.
So far, I think I've managed pretty well. My first step was to read through my manuscript and type out an outline of everything that happens. Important plot points. Character deaths/injuries for future reference. What weapons are used (because I'm unable to keep track of what weapons my characters use, apparently. (in one scene, my male main character was stabbing people with a sword, in the next scene, the sword became a gun).
At the same time, I wrote down all the things that needed to change in comments on the document, so that I know what to do.
And... now I'm stuck. I have no idea how to go about making these changes. I have no idea what to do. All I want to do is lie in a foetal position and cry forever and hope that an agent takes pity on me.
I've been slowly--super slowly--making changes to my document. I've never realised how hard it is to actually edit a whole novel.
I feel that editing is a bit like time-travel: if you tweak a slight bit at the beginning of the novel, the end can be vastly different, much like the theory that if you accidentally killed a plant, then the future can be supremely different. Blah, there's so much responsibility.
It doesn't help that my betas are impatiently waiting for my newly revised novel to arrive in their inboxes. So much pressure! What if they don't like it? What if I suck? Argh, can you see why I prefer to write novels and not edit them? (Though, funnily enough, I have no problem with editing other people's work.)
So, how do you edit? What do you do to make editing less of a terrifying chore, and something that can be enjoyed?
Friday, 13 July 2012
Writing Superstitions
Happy Friday the 13th!
So, today is obviously a day that makes some people very superstitious. I'm not one of those people, but I do have general superstitions when it comes to writing. I can't tell you how hard I had to think to come up with these superstitions and habits--it's all rather subconscious, isn't it? I mean, I have OCD, and even I don't know exactly what kind of quirks I have, except the ones people have pointed out to me.
So, onto my superstitions and habits concerning writing:
So, today is obviously a day that makes some people very superstitious. I'm not one of those people, but I do have general superstitions when it comes to writing. I can't tell you how hard I had to think to come up with these superstitions and habits--it's all rather subconscious, isn't it? I mean, I have OCD, and even I don't know exactly what kind of quirks I have, except the ones people have pointed out to me.
So, onto my superstitions and habits concerning writing:
 |
| The mystical writing hat |
- I like to wear my writer's hat (shown on the right)
- I like to have a warm, sugary drink on hand
- Writing every day has proved to make me more productive, but I can't always make that, because of time constraints or pure laziness
- I have to have the right font for my story. Luckily, most of my stories so far have been Arial Narrow, size 11, but, it can sometimes change depending on... well, I don't know, subconscious stuff, I guess
- Each story has its own playlist, and I can't write to the wrong kind of music. For example, my newest WIP has a playlist that consists of a lot of Skrillex, Metallica, Motley Crue, Fear Factory, and generally just a lot of different kinds of metal. The right music can work wonders, but if I listen to something that just doesn't suit the story at all, it can put me in a writing funk
- I don't like talking about my stories too early on in the writing process. Mainly because of two reasons: 1) What if it turns into a bum idea? I'd have let down all these people who were looking forward to reading it, and it ended up going nowhere. 2) I know this is silly, but I'm afraid that someone will steal my ideas. I love originality, and I'm sure this sounds very arrogant and up-myself, but I like to think that my stories have some level of originality to them. I wouldn't want anyone stealing my precious ideas.
- Writing in my house is hard. This is less of a superstition, and more of an observation, but I get so distracted by my puppy, by the internet, by pretty much everything. I like to go to coffee shops or the park, and just sit and write for hours. That's why I got so much writing done during my first semester of uni: because I was writing on my breaks.
- When I'm editing, I have to print out the entire manuscript, and I can only write on it in angry red ink.
- I cannot write my story out of order. Absolutely cannot. I like my things to be organised in a nice linear order. Unless the story is supposed to be all over the place, then I'll write the non-linear story in the way I envision the non-linear-ness to be.
Okay, so maybe I'm a wee bit weird.
Do you have any odd superstitions or habits while writing?
Sunday, 1 July 2012
Yeah, so the last time I posted was in May. I'm not good at this blogging thing, am I?
This time I have a good excuse.
Sort of...
See, I finished my first semester of uni, and I thought, "man, I could get so much work done during the holidays. I can blog, and write and edit and read all of the books."
Yeah.. that didn't work out so well. Turns out, too much free time = doing nothing at all for almost 2 months.
So, I can't wait until uni starts up again, so that I can start scheduling my life about. Last semester, I spent most of my breaks in a coffee shop, or in the State Library, working on my WIP. I read at least 2 hours a day on the train (it's an hour in one direction... bleh), and life was good. It was easy to do things and to not put them off for later.
I start uni again in 2 weeks, so let's see if it actually works out. I'll be collecting bets, if anyone thinks I'll fail.
This time I have a good excuse.
Sort of...
See, I finished my first semester of uni, and I thought, "man, I could get so much work done during the holidays. I can blog, and write and edit and read all of the books."
Yeah.. that didn't work out so well. Turns out, too much free time = doing nothing at all for almost 2 months.
So, I can't wait until uni starts up again, so that I can start scheduling my life about. Last semester, I spent most of my breaks in a coffee shop, or in the State Library, working on my WIP. I read at least 2 hours a day on the train (it's an hour in one direction... bleh), and life was good. It was easy to do things and to not put them off for later.
I start uni again in 2 weeks, so let's see if it actually works out. I'll be collecting bets, if anyone thinks I'll fail.
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